Posted by: “Annette” firstname.lastname@example.org rawmum
Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:20 am (PDT)
Tammy, your post is brilliant! I’ve read it slowly several times, knowing you were speaking some often-unspoken truths. You helped me to see that the issue is not just about “eatiing raw”, and yes, trying to do so can be a huge distraction. I have been so caught up with trying to ‘do raw’ in the past, that I completely ignored the part of me that just wanted harmony. I ignored my own instincts in order to try and follow another persons rules.
What you said about support groups being necessary to help us raise and maintain higher frequencies is so true. It helped me so much all those years ago when this group was very active and I was doing all raw. Victoria Boutenko recognised that, which is why she suggested being a part of a support group as one of her ’12 steps to raw’, and is what inspired me to start this group. I know it helped me a lot then, but it wasn’t enough to maintain it long term for me….that motivatio n needed to come from within me. From a strong desire to keep that level of energy and clarity. And from knowing that I deserved that. I think that was one thing I struggled with for a long time…not feeling worthy. When I had the issues with my husband over my being raw, I felt on some level that I just didn’t deserve to maintain that level of feeling so alive!
I agree with your insights into being judgemental and recognise that my husband probably actually thought the same things, and I acted with the same defence. I was trying to hold onto a new way of Being, and deal with the different personal issues coming up. I did like people telling me how good I looked. It was a huge stroke to my ego. When my dh told me how he hated how I looked, I was confused as I liked the way I looked too. Maybe I just wasn’t strong enough to hold my space, maybe it goes back to actually feeling not worthy to look like that and when he said that, maybe that deep part of me was actually relieved…” oh, see, I knew I was right, I really don’t deserve this”. (hmmm, interesting stuff coming out here for me)
I have worked on a lot of things in the past 7 years. I’ve come a long way in Accepting myself, and Trusting in the process of life. I am much calmer in so many ways. Writing this post now, I feel like I have a little more work to do on fully claiming my self-worth. I thought I had delt with that, but I don’t think I’ve finished.
Thanks for the suggestion of a family walk after dinner. We were doing that, but somehow fell out of the habit. We try to start the day with a bike ride or walk or play on the beach, it would be nice to finish it that way too. My dd just loves to eat though…even as a baby she would nurse a lot. It wasn’t until my boys came along, who nursed a lot less, that I realised just how much time I had spent nursing her. These days, she is often wandering in the kitchen just looking. She likes to always have some kind of food close by. She does snack on a lot of fruit but also loves the carbs, especially bread. We’ve seen lots of different naturopaths etc. Some say she should avoid gluten. When I remove that from her diet, she gets so cranky like she’s being denied some huge pleasure, even when she has agreed to try it. Her moods are unpredictable and she can go from high to low in a split second. We have been working with a
homeopath and that has helped with her moods a bit, but there is still the food issues, and other things like a real lack of motivation to do pretty much anything. I want her to be free to express who she is, but sometimes I feel like she has herself trapped.
Ah, how easy it would be if we could all live likeAnastasia (Ringing Cedars series)! Just not very practical for most of us.
love and best wishes.
http://freespiritli fe.blogspot. com
It was so good to hear from you. As I have heard and read from different raw food enthusists it seems to me most people who are in the raw food field are there because health issues moved them that way.
If, as I have read, 85% to 95% of the health issues are caused by unresolved emotional issues manifesting themselves in the body, then it would make sense to say eating raw becomes another distracted arena to try and deal with our experienceses we are overwhelmed and overloaded with in order to buy time to deal with ailing health.
I knew when I was 100% raw I used the action of being judgemental to try and hold my space of eating raw from everyone who questioned it. This was done because I did not have the tools to deal with such a rigid way of eating or rather my thoughts when not drugging myself with food.
Part of the reason for this was no one in my everyday life eats raw and no one, including me, is non-judgemental. I was trying to become something I had no clue how to do. Even bumbling around this change would take time to progress and I was not very graceful at it. It is not something we are born with or see many examples of. Another part of the reason is the power that came from feeling well for the first time in so many years and not knowing what to do with all that energy over took my good judgement.
I remember reading David R. Hawkins book Power vs. Force years ago and his frequency chart he created went from 25 to 1000. He used this chart to put a number to frequencies like shame started at 25. Enlightenment was over 500. Love and joy in pure sense were 400ish??? Anyway, I remember feeling really sad to read the average human being would only progress 5 points on the scale in their entire life. What I realized from his comment was progression and holding of new frequencies in this life is very difficult when we are on our own. I think people who obtain the ability to raise and maintain higher frequencies do so because they get a support group to help them. But, having a support group means putting one’s energy out to keep them fed. This causes an expenditure of energy in itself. Lots to contemplate.
As I pondered your struggle with your marriage and your husband over eating raw I am more and more certain that we put our energy into trying to live a rigid lifestyle when the real place that pays off is if we put our energy into dealing with our issues. I think when my husband was saying I was being judgemental he was really saying things like:
a)You are putting yourself more into food (or my drug) than into me
b)You say you are wanting to take care of yourself but really you want people to compliment on how great you look and be envious of you
c)I really miss you and wish we did things together like in the old days when we went out to eat together
d)I miss the smile on your face when you eat cooked processed food because you don’t smile much anymore
I totally see what you are saying when you say you have grown so much in the past 7 years and that makes a difference now in how you eat and I am sure in how you think. I think there is a huge connection in finding balance between physical, spiritual, mental, and it sounds like you are finding it.
I also have been working on growing. I have also worried about my different children and the physical price their eating consequences force them to pay. I know two of my boys struggle with weight issues. My 11 year old dd started really packing the pounds on when we were eating so much sugar every day and little to no exercise but when I started back raw and allowed the girls 1 cooked meal a day, making small (amount wise) raw treats for the evening when they wanted to snack she started to lose weight slowly. We also started forcing them out on an evening walk several days a week. This helped the family time to be spent away from the table and food and happy times together.
Annette, I wonder if your desire to do physical work with others in the gym when they are pregnant and older being your love and passion area has to do with you taking care of yourself when you are pregnant and showing you are evolving as you are getting older? Maybe this is why you are able to see how much you want balance now.
I, like you, am not sure how much I am going to eat 100% raw but I do know the unhealthy way I was eating was like a snowball turning into an avalanche. The Candida in my body was giving me constant brain fog and just eating raw for a couple of weeks really lifts that for me.
I know in the end we would love to just eat what our body needs for nurishment and maybe that is a key, intentional eating of healthy food in healthy amounts, whether cooked processed or raw. I bet this in one of the things we all have in common here.
Thanks for your great response and addition to our on going conversation.